The Way of Freedom - Stories and Questions

Balance Layer #3 - The Way of Freedom

 

Balance Layer #3 – The Way of Freedom

As I’ve stated before, balanced power leads to freedom rather than the other way around (read about power here). In order for a single person, a country, or any group in between to truly be free, they must first reside in and act from balanced power. Actions that stem from meekness and pure intention, rather than pride and demanded compliance, are a foundation upon which freedom can be built. Power is the ability to choose and to act as a sovereign being, while freedom is the chance and opportunity to exercise inalienable rights within the scope of balanced regulations and without oppression.

The early American Colonies are a perfect example of this. If a handful of brave souls hadn’t first stood in their power, channeling their anger, and expressing themselves even in the “Declaration of Independence,” how could the Constitution have come about to protect freedom?

Freedom thrives within the duality of autonomy and boundaries, while the imbalanced extremes are where freedom is lost and limitation cankers. Without autonomy and only boundaries, tyranny runs rampant with oppression, division, and slavery. Autonomy with no boundaries is anarchy. While anarchy may reign for a time, eventually “survival of the fittest” will rear its ugly head amidst the chaos, more often than not causing the pendulum to swing the opposite way into tyranny.

Each person has the right to live, choose, and pursue the desires of their heart and exercise all inalienable rights without crossing boundaries or taking away the freedom of others.

As you read onward, be aware that these dynamics apply to every individual, family unit, group or relationship, community, and country. The foundation is the same.

Balance: Boundaries

For the purpose of encompassing all the situations that balanced freedom can be a part of, boundaries will refer to: that which is set in place to govern, protect, direct, define, and regulate. Boundaries can also be synonymous with laws, rules, commandments, decrees, and agreements.

Boundaries that are balanced are not put in place for the purpose of controlling or manipulating on any level. They are only meant to keep stable order so that autonomy is supported and protected. Anything more or less than the securing of rights is not for the good of anyone, regardless of intentions.

I used to see freedom as devoid of any law or limitation, but I’ve learned that freedom can’t exist without set bounds. Even Mother Nature lives by the laws that dictate and regulate throughout the universe, natural laws that keep things flowing and in order.

As time goes on, boundaries are necessarily upgraded or done away with. Examples of this can be first, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, and second, the norm that rules/boundaries change as children grow within a family unit. Whether a boundary line is redrawn or a new one is created, a boundary must be agreed to by the individuals that are affected by the resulting laws and rules. They must have a part in the creation process, whether by consent, vote, clear understanding, or agreement. Otherwise, individuals cannot be self-governing within any organized system, and consequences or punishments will then be unjust.

If someone chooses, in their autonomy, to take away the freedom of another through their actions, there are consequences when those boundaries are crossed, just like any trespasser on property that is not their own. Through justice, the person who chose to cross the line, who abused their power, will have a loss of freedom personally. It will take a return to balanced power and justice being met before freedom can be restored.

I could discuss freedom solely from a political or civil point of view, but I instead want to take a look at freedom on a personal basis and where relationships are concerned. The reason is, when a person can learn to be free within themselves and foster freedom within their relationships, that freedom will magnify and spread naturally, making a change for good in this world.

In any relationship (including with yourself), boundaries are going to make freedom or break freedom. Clear boundaries must define where you end and others begin, otherwise there will be imbalance. If you limit another person’s right to autonomy, you are trespassing (and vice versa). If there are no clear boundaries both ways, there will be chaos until one ends up dominating the other. Conflict in relationships can be seen as a war over personal boundary lines and space, and believe it or not, but the war actually begins on the inside of each individual.

Even though there are many boundaries put in place externally, the greater rules and decrees are what we set upon ourselves inwardly. These boundaries play their biggest role within the subconscious mind and create our level of limitation. Simply put, these boundaries are our core beliefs and they create our reality.

For instance, I may have a core belief that I am wanted and useful within my own home, but out there in the world I am not wanted or valued. My thoughts will back up that belief, create emotions, and lead to my actions. Through my actions I will experience results that will inevitably back up or prove my belief to be true. In this way, I have diminished my own freedom - my chance to live as a valuable person outside of my home.

This pattern is the same for everyone. Your beliefs lead to your thoughts, which fuel your emotions and your actions, ending with a result to reflect your belief. It is a cycle that builds in strength each go around, a hurricane with a limiting belief at the center. What you put out into the world through core beliefs will return to you magnified. It is a natural law that governs the balance of the universe and the support of your autonomy.

If you have a scarcity mindset or a belief that you are lacking in some way, you are decreeing what is and this may create a conflict with what you desire. This inner struggle is all about your previously set limits, and herein lies a great battle for your freedom of achieving what you desire. Conflicting emotions are also a signal that your desires and your belief system are not in harmony.

Every battle that is fought within yourself, every war that is finished, will either bring you into greater freedom or into bondage as a prisoner of war. The choice is up to you. Sometimes, the war is fought by discovering what past experiences and memories give your core beliefs strength. It takes time reframing the past, letting go and healing, but doing away with old beliefs to bring in the new is worth it. Anyone who has done this knows how liberating this process can be.

You experience situations and circumstances in life for a reason, and the discomfort is meant to bring awareness to the opportunity you have to win war within and become more free. The truth really will set you free, but you first have to know what it is that is keeping you in limitation and scarcity first.

What are the boundaries you have made for yourself? Do those boundaries cross someone else’s boundaries and create conflict in relationships? What do you believe about yourself that decrees you are limited or lacking? How do these decrees affect your relationships? Which of your boundaries provide you with greater opportunities to exercise your rights and live in your autonomy?

Balance: Autonomy

Autonomy is self-government, or in other words, the authority one has to oversee the exercising of their inalienable rights. Being autonomous means that you have the right to make unrestrained, independent and informed decisions - without compulsion or manipulation from external forces. Not only that, but autonomy is also taking responsibility for yourself and upholding boundaries that secure autonomy for one and for all. 

Here are some examples to illustrate autonomy a bit more:

·        A “free state” within a country is autonomous and has clear, drawn boundary lines that do not cross into another state. This state is part of the union that makes up a country, but the state is still sovereign. The country does not “own” the state, but the whole supports the one, while the one upholds the whole.  

·        A child within a family unit is their own person, with their own rights and boundaries that make up the space of their being. Though the child is part of a family, they are still autonomous in their inalienable rights. The parents do not own the child, but help keep rules in place that protect autonomy while also guiding the child to be self-governing. A child can be taught things that are correct and balanced, but then it is up to the child to govern themselves (with gentle direction and reminders along the way). The end goal is for a child to become a healthy, responsibly, independent individual.

·        A person in a balanced relationship is their own person, with a personal space that they have a say over. They are part of a relationship, but still sovereign. The partner does not own any part of them, but the relationship thrives when each partner honors personal space and rights while working together as a team.

·        And you, dear reader, are an individual and sovereign being. You are one and part of the whole of humanity. When you honor your autonomy and are in balanced freedom, you can know where you begin and end, and where others begin and end. You always have inalienable rights, aspects of yourself that you will forever have ownership of. You have every right to show up in your authenticity and live your life as you desire.

With that being said, it's important to understand “rights” when talking about autonomy in general. “Rights” is a term I have heard about all my life, but it wasn’t until recently that I took the time to ponder on what that means from the perspective of balanced freedom. I learned that, by definition, inalienable rights are what you justly own and have authority over by simply being born. This led to asking myself, what is it that I have claim to, that cannot be justly taken from me and taken into the control of another?

The answer that resonated with my being is: I forever own my body, character, voice, desires, thoughts, opinions, creative works, beliefs, experiences, and space. I also have a right to live my life and have joy in the securing of my basic needs for that life and to reach for my dreams. I deserve and claim the privilege to make my own choices (aka agency = power in action) and decide what I allow into my space, whether it be a person, concept, or thing.

I’ve gained the perspective that people can be compared to territories or countries or any other space of land marked as something separate than the rest. For instance, when a country is invaded by another through the trespassing across boundary lines, conflict or war is often the result. The invaded country owns the right, because of their autonomy, to protect their boundaries and maintain the space they occupy.

Each person also own’s their space of being, and if you stop and think about it, trespassing and war happens all the time when people interact with each other.

Something as simple as someone silencing you and keeping you from sharing an opinion peaceably is trespassing. It is an intrusion, and it is an act against autonomy and therefore, freedom. Although you do not have the right to force your opinion on others, you can own and accept your opinion and to fight for the opportunity to express yourself. Meanwhile, it is up to the choice of others to accept or reject your opinion without oppression. 

Ironically, we silence ourselves more than any other person. We even give up our autonomy by relying upon the thoughts, beliefs, and opinions of others, adopting them as our own for security, love, belonging, or comfort. It seems to be the way of humanity to look to others who appear to be more credible, more knowledgeable, more superior to dictate what we believe, what is best for us, or (heaven forbid) even the best way to load a dishwasher.

But the reality is, the moment you give up thinking for yourself, studying things out for yourself, gaining your own experience, or making your own decisions, you give up your autonomy and it will affect your level of freedom. It’s okay to seek the wisdom and guidance of others, but in the end, you need to be self-governing in order to be balanced.

Your freedom is dependent upon your claim as an individual. Not only do you have the power, but you have the right to rebel against those who attempt to diminish your agency, or the exercising of your rights. You must own your rights, exercise them, and fight for them, even in your relationship with yourself. You need to set clear boundaries and goals for yourself, master self-control, boldly support yourself, and control yourself in a way that is in alignment with balanced boundaries.

Boundaries + Autonomy

As you stand in your autonomy, upholding boundaries that enhance the quality of your life, bring you joy, and support good intentions, the greater your opportunity will be to exercise your inalienable rights. This is freedom – boundaries and autonomy that support and protect one another. The freest individual knows and understand the bounds (rules, laws, etc.) that protect their rights, and they are able to self-govern to remain within that balanced space.

What you want to watch out for are the long lists of rules, guidelines, laws, boundaries, and contradictory requirements. These things are a sign of less freedom, not only because they are often used as a form of control but because these long lists may be needed for those who refuse to govern themselves. In the end, having less laws to keep order will only come about from a people willing to be more self-governing and autonomous.

Take Jesus Christ’s teachings for example. He acknowledged the law of Moses with its long list of dos and don’ts, but also taught that the two great commandments were to love God and to love oneself in order to love others. If a person were to govern themselves by these two great commandments, without fear or compulsion, none of the other rules and guidelines would be necessary. Acting in good moral character would be a natural result of living these two commandments. When all the other scripts are put in place to dictate what people should do in all things, and the people depend upon a leader to govern them, there is a lack of freedom and it eventually breeds imbalance.

Anyone in a mentor, parent, or leadership role are balanced when they seek to uphold the autonomy of those they are guiding. Think of a triangle with the point facing downward. The way of balance places the leadership or authority at the bottom point, lifting, upholding and protecting the autonomy of the individuals. They teach correct patterns and principles and then let people govern themselves. The most influential leaders and parents are those who support and uphold in this way.

If you were to flip the triangle around with the point going upwards, it would depict the pattern of imbalance where authority figures are upheld, secure in their superiority, and their prosperity by keeping others below them. They are those that abuse power and limit freedom for their own gain. They grow in power and control the more they keep others underneath them.

It is our right and our duty to maintain our autonomy, live according to balanced boundaries, and allow others to do the same. It really is the same concept that the Musketeers live by: “All for one, and one for all.”

Imbalance: Tyranny

As stated at the beginning, if autonomy is not supported by boundaries that are just, tyranny is the imbalanced extreme. Tyranny is made through regulations that keep the control in the hands of a select few rather than every individual - the tyrant being in charge of who gets to use their rights and when.

“I don’t agree with the information you shared. It doesn’t support the agenda of a few who have greater authority. You do not get to use your voice.”

Enter censorship.

“This is the canon of our religion. These are the “scripts” we say you must follow in order to be worthy. If you don’t believe this way, you will be cut off for eternity (fear-tactic). Don’t you dare look into anything else outside of what we provide. Don’t think for yourself or believe anything different than what we tell you.”

Enter religions everywhere.

“I am hired by the government for the health of the whole nation. You must do everything I say you should do, believe what I am telling you, and do what I tell you to do with your body. If you don’t, you are in danger of losing your job and the way to support your life.”

Enter the loss of freedom during the “pandemic.”

“If you don’t do it my way, I will intentionally withhold my affection until you do. And, you can sleep on the couch as well.”

Enter the partner who “wears the pants.”

“I don’t care why you don’t want to take a bath right now. Either you get in that tub, or I will put you in there myself.”

Enter the parent who demands silent compliance rather than working with a child.

“I am not good enough and will only embarrass myself. I refuse to try.”

Enter the individual who damns themselves.

Laying down the unjust law and demanding compliance while silencing the use of rights can exist anywhere. It comes along with blackmailing, pacts, deals, and making use of those who are fearful. Oppression (causing unnecessary burdens and enforcing without compassion) is a major red-flag that tyranny is the way of a system. And therein lie tactics to divide and conquer through fear mongering and playing on emotions, while creating ways to cause dependence upon the few at the top.

If dependence or slavery is instituted to any degree, it damages a person’s motivation to be self-governing. To go from being forced or pushed to do things, to having no one there to tell you what to do creates a challenge that is hard for people to adjust to. They will either find someone else to rule over them, live in chaotic anarchy of imbalanced resistance, or they can choose to stand in their power to break free of tyranny and be autonomous.

I’ve come to realize that having expectations for people can easily become tyranny. For instance, when you expect something to go a certain way or for people to behave a certain way in order for you to be content or happy, you get into business that is not your own. Making decisions for other people, telling them what they should do, can only cause frustration and reactionary actions in your effort to control all the external elements. This way serves no one.

Simply put, tyranny seeks for control of the outside, but balanced freedom is control that happens on the inside of each individual. To destroy tyranny, find and exercise your autonomy and let others do the same.    

Imbalanced: Anarchy

Let’s now take a look at the extreme opposite of tyranny, which is anarchy. Anarchy happens when there are no boundaries and laws, and everyone is a law unto themselves without order and without direction. It is a destructive way to live. To have freedom does not mean that a person is able to live without boundaries or not being subject to law. Everything and everyone is governed by some force or law that is beyond them. Even nature would be in utter chaos and unstable if there were no laws put in place throughout the universe to organize the elements.

Can you imagine a house-full of young children, allowed to run free without any rules or boundaries? It would be a mad house! The children would not do things that would serve them or others, and after a while, the older or stronger kids would likely end up dominating or taking control in some way. They would start making deals and pacts with each other to keep the authority of a few in control of the rest. Anarchy then becomes tyranny.

A while back, I watched this dynamic play out while my kids were playing in the back yard with several other kids in the neighborhood. There were about 10 kids ranging from age 3 to age 11. They all wanted to be and do something unique, adding a different aspect to their make-believe game. The children spent a large amount of time yelling out what they each wanted to have happen in the game, some of the toddlers even crying out in a fit. It was chaotic to be sure, but rather than intervening right away, I observed the situation to see what would happen.

After a while of kids yelling back and forth, there were a couple of the older kids that stepped up and said, “This is what we are going to do.” They laid down the rules and the dynamics of the game, which I thought was good to bring some order and boundaries. But as soon as the list began exploding in size with what could and couldn’t happen, that princesses and pirates were not allowed, and all the things that only these older kids approved of. I saw that balance was bypassed and tyranny showed up.

The only kids who were allowed to play or wanted to play at all were those willing to adhere to the long list of rules. A couple kids just went home to do their own thing because they were fed up, while a couple of others started their own game where they could be princesses and pirates.

Some found freedom in expressing their imagination, some chose to not play at all and do something else, while others chose to be less free with how they could play by going by the massive, ever-changing dictates of those who placed themselves in charge.

My eldest child was one of those who put himself in charge, and after friends went home that day, we had a good discussion about how things went. We talked about how to try and work with everyone, to have a small amount of ground rules for a game that can be agreed upon, but to allow everyone to be free to play within those few rules. I told him that it wasn’t up to him to tell each person what they could and couldn’t do, to constantly make changes to the rules. More than anything, I stressed that it’s okay to let a princess be a pirate if that’s what a little girl wanted to be because it wouldn’t hurt anything.

It's amazing what can be learned about humanity just by observing children, isn’t it?

Another thing we can learn from children, or even adults who act childish, is that entitlement issues and behaviors sit in the realm of anarchy. Entitlement behaviors are saying, “I deserve it because I want it. I deserve special treatment and privileges regardless of what the boundaries or requirements are.”

Balanced freedom and opportunity do not work like this.

People who believe they are not subject to just laws and requirements are imbalanced. Though they may understandably feel like something is unfair, their true privileges only lie within the unity of autonomy and boundaries.

A five-year-old may squawk that they don’t get to stay up later like a teenager, saying it is unfair. But logically, there are boundaries put in place for different levels of growth based on capacities for responsibility. Fairness doesn’t mean equal treatment or opportunities.

A team who places last in a tournament even though they did their best may still feel jilted because the winners got something and they didn’t. This, and similar types of scenarios, we hear about often enough. The thing is, if we want what the winners receive, then the requirement is to win. That is the boundary and it is just. To demand “fair treatment” is entitlement and found within imbalance.

Yes, we all are worthy to receive what everyone else receives, but that doesn’t mean we always deserve or have earned the right to justly receive.

Freedom is fair, and fairness is just. We are all equal in being worthy, but we are not all the same in our level of freedom and opportunity. This can be due to how well we self-govern, our core beliefs, our expectations, our abilities, or the political circumstances that may exist. It can be a on a conscious or unconscious level.

What is important for you is to evaluate your own level of freedom within you and within your space. Discover where you are imbalanced and where you are balanced. Where does anarchy show up in your life? Where is tyranny? How can you increase your autonomy? What clear boundaries serve you and others?

Wherever and whenever you discover imbalance, remember, you have the right to fight for your freedom. As you fight, be aware that there is great strength in fighting for something rather than fighting against. To fight against is to risk violating other people’s rights, while fighting for is where balanced freedom is found.

As Thomas Jefferson once said, “I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery.”

And it is the same with me. It isn’t easy or comfortable to expand my freedom in any way, but it is worth it.

May you take action and fight for your freedom - regardless of what it takes.

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